ONE YEAR WITH ANNALISE IN HEAVEN

The Annalise I know and love,
the real Annalise, not her body – is alive.
And one day, I’ll dance with her again.

In February of last year, the amazing girl who learned to walk again, learned to swim again, and learned to jump rope again, was no longer able to walk on her own. And yet, in what seemed like one of the darkest times we’d face, Annalise would always find her humor. One time, I was walking her to the kitchen, holding her up with my right arm around her lower back and her right hand in my left – as we walked, she stuck her arm out straight, then giggled before saying, “Tango.” I laughed too. And for a few seconds we did a little tango together."

Annalise and I danced a lot. When she was 5, we would dance every night after I got home from work. She’d ask me to put on some music, and we’d dance like we were Beauty and the Beast in the grand ballroom of our castle. She would always want to lead, even when she let me lead. I’m so grateful I remember those nights as vividly as I do.

As Annalise got older, Sebastian and Jen joined in, and our dance sessions turned into dance parties in our kitchen. We’ve had many of these dance parties in our kitchen. We still do. Except now, Annalise dances above us and around us. We can’t see her, but we know she’s there.

This year has been tough. Every minute is tough. As I look ahead, I’m hoping that Year Two will bring new beginnings for us all. I hope to do things that Annalise will enjoy watching from wherever she is. However, at this very second, I feel as if I’m stuck in a fog, and I’m looking for her to guide me out. That being said, I’m setting the intention to use this next year to strengthen my focus on gratitude, self-compassion and connection. I’ll start that by thanking you for reading this and for remembering our amazing Annalise.